Four weeks has gone by
Yesterday it was four weeks since the surgery. Four very confusing, tough, happy and sad weeks. And for the first time since my surgery, I'm all alone.
While its still pretty fresh in mind, I want to try to get this down before it goes cloudy in my head. This time was better than the last time in many ways, but being stubborn doesnt make things easy for anyone.
If I havent said this before, I say this as some sort of warning - I blabber alot. I also tend to describe things too much sometimes which takes it longer to "get to the point". Skim through the blabbering if you dont want the whole picture as if you're in the room :)
The day of the surgery
I was scheduled for my appointment at 11:30 Thursday the 17th of October. I hate being late, so we were there at 11:00 and one of my friends were already sitting inside next to the check-ins waiting for us - with a present in a shiny bag. She and my boyfriend has taken the day off to come with me which I appreciate very much since I wanted to keep my mind busy with anything else than this day. Once we got to the ward, we were told that I was the only one who could go inside. They were given phone numbers to call for later if they wanted to check up on me. Five minutes later, they were gone and I was on my way into the waiting room. A male nurse was sitting in my chair and a couple of others were standing around. They made a giggle out of it joking around which I though was funny and it seemed like the other patients in the room needed it aswell.
I was given the hospital outfit and the compression socks quite fast after I arrived and not long after, the anesthesia nurse stopped by. Very strickt, but lovely woman. Then two surgeons and another nurse came to tell me what was going to happen and what they're going to do. In the papers, it said it was an outpatient appointment and that I would be out of the hospital later that day. I knew that was a mistake, but I was still disappointed when they told me I was going to stay over night. Me, like most people I assume, wouldnt want to stay in a hospital for long. The surgery was gonna start at 14:00.
By the time it was 14:10 and nurses started coming by, I wasnt nervous anymore. I think for the whole morning, I was only nervous for the 30 minutes before I was going in to surgery. It was way too many things happening and I started talking to the other patients in the waiting room. I specifically remember this older woman - it was her birthday and her husband had passed away 10 days earlier. She was lovely and had such a comforting smile on her face.
Once in the room where I was gonna be put under anesthesia, the nurse from earlier and an assistant was helping out. I havent had any problems in the past with needles except that one time where I fainted, but when the nurse flicked my vein this time, it was ridicilously painful. Still remember the feeling right before it all went black, and put it this way, its been a long time since I was tipsy.
It all went dark, and I woke up right around 18:20 to one of the surgeons talking to me asking me "Can you tell me what I'm doing now?" - and he was putting his tongue out making a funny face. As soon as I answered him, he told me all about the surgery in a quick summary and then he was gone.
I asked one of the nurses to please remove the cannula (venflon) that was hurting my vein earlier cause it was too painful even when my hand was laying still. She then pressen on it several times asking "Is this painful? Is this where it hurts?" when it was so painful, I couldnt get a word out and in the end I got angry. I still didnt say anything since the whole room was still spinning. A different nurse, a asian woman came over and removed it and put a new one on my other hand. She didnt have to press and try moving around on the old one. It might seem like a small thing, but after the surgery, my body felt like it was falling apart already and that cannula was right next to (felt like it was scraping) my bone. Such a small thing as removing the old cannula and put in a new one, made her my hero of the day.
My boyfriend told me he would call the hospital around 20:00 to see if I was out of surgery and if he could stop by to visit just for a few minutes. I remember looking at the time at 19:10 wishing he would call in earlier since I was already in the ward by then and everything was still very blurry.
It must have been relief and a mixture of alot of emotions when tears started running from my eyes. And about 30 seconds after, through the blurry teary vision, I saw my boyfriend coming around the corner and then I couldnt stop the tears. I felt very alone even with three other women in the room I was in. For the few minutes he was there - I really needed it 🤍
While its still pretty fresh in mind, I want to try to get this down before it goes cloudy in my head. This time was better than the last time in many ways, but being stubborn doesnt make things easy for anyone.
If I havent said this before, I say this as some sort of warning - I blabber alot. I also tend to describe things too much sometimes which takes it longer to "get to the point". Skim through the blabbering if you dont want the whole picture as if you're in the room :)
The day of the surgery
I was scheduled for my appointment at 11:30 Thursday the 17th of October. I hate being late, so we were there at 11:00 and one of my friends were already sitting inside next to the check-ins waiting for us - with a present in a shiny bag. She and my boyfriend has taken the day off to come with me which I appreciate very much since I wanted to keep my mind busy with anything else than this day. Once we got to the ward, we were told that I was the only one who could go inside. They were given phone numbers to call for later if they wanted to check up on me. Five minutes later, they were gone and I was on my way into the waiting room. A male nurse was sitting in my chair and a couple of others were standing around. They made a giggle out of it joking around which I though was funny and it seemed like the other patients in the room needed it aswell.
I was given the hospital outfit and the compression socks quite fast after I arrived and not long after, the anesthesia nurse stopped by. Very strickt, but lovely woman. Then two surgeons and another nurse came to tell me what was going to happen and what they're going to do. In the papers, it said it was an outpatient appointment and that I would be out of the hospital later that day. I knew that was a mistake, but I was still disappointed when they told me I was going to stay over night. Me, like most people I assume, wouldnt want to stay in a hospital for long. The surgery was gonna start at 14:00.
By the time it was 14:10 and nurses started coming by, I wasnt nervous anymore. I think for the whole morning, I was only nervous for the 30 minutes before I was going in to surgery. It was way too many things happening and I started talking to the other patients in the waiting room. I specifically remember this older woman - it was her birthday and her husband had passed away 10 days earlier. She was lovely and had such a comforting smile on her face.
Once in the room where I was gonna be put under anesthesia, the nurse from earlier and an assistant was helping out. I havent had any problems in the past with needles except that one time where I fainted, but when the nurse flicked my vein this time, it was ridicilously painful. Still remember the feeling right before it all went black, and put it this way, its been a long time since I was tipsy.
It all went dark, and I woke up right around 18:20 to one of the surgeons talking to me asking me "Can you tell me what I'm doing now?" - and he was putting his tongue out making a funny face. As soon as I answered him, he told me all about the surgery in a quick summary and then he was gone.
I asked one of the nurses to please remove the cannula (venflon) that was hurting my vein earlier cause it was too painful even when my hand was laying still. She then pressen on it several times asking "Is this painful? Is this where it hurts?" when it was so painful, I couldnt get a word out and in the end I got angry. I still didnt say anything since the whole room was still spinning. A different nurse, a asian woman came over and removed it and put a new one on my other hand. She didnt have to press and try moving around on the old one. It might seem like a small thing, but after the surgery, my body felt like it was falling apart already and that cannula was right next to (felt like it was scraping) my bone. Such a small thing as removing the old cannula and put in a new one, made her my hero of the day.
My boyfriend told me he would call the hospital around 20:00 to see if I was out of surgery and if he could stop by to visit just for a few minutes. I remember looking at the time at 19:10 wishing he would call in earlier since I was already in the ward by then and everything was still very blurry.
It must have been relief and a mixture of alot of emotions when tears started running from my eyes. And about 30 seconds after, through the blurry teary vision, I saw my boyfriend coming around the corner and then I couldnt stop the tears. I felt very alone even with three other women in the room I was in. For the few minutes he was there - I really needed it 🤍
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